from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
