I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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