So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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