We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
