Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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