One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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