her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
