its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
