..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
