That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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