He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
