Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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