is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
