so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
