Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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