Your tits are I can't wait for
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize