Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
