no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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