I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You were trust falling into bushes
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