Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
