I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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