Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
