Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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