By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
These tits shall not be calmed
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
