Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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