Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
