i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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