youre lurking in front of me
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
