Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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