I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
