I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
