I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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