after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
