how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
