hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
