one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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