her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I intend to get homeless drunk
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
