This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
