apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
nutella sex= disaster
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize