just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need water and some morals
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
