Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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