i barfeds in our rink
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
