I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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