You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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