we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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