I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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