dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The adults are the big ones right?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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