1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize