which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
