I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
