I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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