I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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