Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
