Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
