He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
