I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just gift wrapped bread.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
foreskin is a definite game changer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
