i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
