she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i drank out of a bidet.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
