i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize