it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
