Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
