a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
