i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
