atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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